Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
