I want to make a zoo with you.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
