just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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