just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
