All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
