yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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