evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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