I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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