I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
