Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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