called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
