we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
