ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
