Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
did i walk over a car last night?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
