I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You are the jesus of drinking
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
