it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
