Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
