Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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