anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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