I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
