Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
