We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
