She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
