I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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