1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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