Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
