More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
