Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
