Do you still have your period?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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