Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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