I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
