I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
