Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
