I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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