how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
