oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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