great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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