guys are not supposed to queef...right?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
