you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
