I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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