How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
