I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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