The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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