I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So many bounce houses so little time
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
