This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
