mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You have to summon your inner elephant
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
