I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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