It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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