just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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