Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
