You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
